Male on Male Porn Stories With My Daughter

By Fireproof Ministries - Crossmap On July 21, 2013

Bad Habit

My 14 yo daughter has been repeatedly caught reading erotic male on male porn stories. I am divorced and my ex-wife and kids live in another state. We are not sure of what to do, and I am at the mercy of my ex-wife who wants to handle things her way. I thought if we go some expert advice, we could go down the right path. Right now my daughter has shut down. She won't admit to it for fear of embarrassed or publicly shamed. This stemmed from my ex-wife catching her and making her read the stories to her older sister as punishment. When asked if she was gay...she repeatedly said "no". Do you have any suggestions? Does that make her gay? I have never heard of a female being addicted to male on male porn stories or the actually videos. Please help!

Firstly, I am so sorry that your daughter has become caught up in male on male pornography use.  It's important for parents to avoid placing any lables on their kids whenever they find them struggling with pornography.  When a user first begins to enteract with pornography, there are literally hundreds of different types of pornography that they will be introduced to.  Both women and men--boys and girls--will often find themselves getting involved with content that initially didn't turn them on, or which, at the onset, wouldn't have seemed "normal".  But in the anything goes world of Internet (and offline) pornography, a user can become quicly board/move onto different types of sexual activity and expirementation.  

Like Us on Facebook Subscribe to eNewsletter

In our work with teens and adults, we work with women and men who are both "straight" but who have become addicted to a wide variety of Internet pornography -- from girl on girl to group sex to male on male and violent content.  Viewing this content does not define who or what a person is or what their sexual preference may be.  Viewing explicit content of any kind, however, can, and often does, begin to shape and change a person's sexual desires.  Most of the recovering sex addicts we work with do have to retrain their brain to pursue those things which are "pure" or thought to be normal sexually.

With your daughter, I am so sorry that your ex-wife shamed her so horribly.  That would be incredibly traumatic for anyone, especially a vulnerable and broken teen girl.  Trust will need to be rebuilt, and you will need to continue to affirm your daughter and tell her that you do not blame her and you do not think she is gross or perverted, but you do want to help her.  Tell her you've heard stories of people that have been really messed up by pornography, and, while you know that it can be something someone may want for a while, in the end, it can cause relaitonship problems, body image issues and the like.

I think if would be appropriate to have her visit with a counselor who can provide her with the space and opportunity to open up in a judgement-free zone.  It's usually the shame and embarassment that shuts down anyone who is struggling.  She must be reminded that she is not defined in any way by what she was looking at, but that you (and your ex-wife) want what's best for her and want to help her.  Try to get at the root of the issue--how did she discover the pornography?  Why does she think she is using it?  Etc..

© Fireproof Ministries 2013 | XXXchurch.com

Related Articles:

Top Female Porn Star Finds Jesus

Crissy Moran Ex-Porn Star on Leaving the Industry for Christ: Adult Films Were 'Unnatural'

Crissy Moran Ex-Porn Star on the Influence of Music and Christian Marriage (Part II of A 2-Part Interview)

How Do I Support My Husband's Porn Habit Without Nagging Him?

How Do I Forgive My Spouse's Habit; A Porn Addiction?

Related Videos:

Testimony of Crissy Moran who left porn industry

Danielle Williams: A Porn Star's Pain

Ex - Porn Star Jenna Presley Talking About Her New Life - From Pornography to A New Found Hope

Steve and Ann Tell of How Porn Has Effected Their Marriage

"OPEN" Book Video Trailer // Famous Confessions // When Sins Find

READ MORE: 

Do You Listen to Your Children, or to Yourself?

7 Suggestions for Parenting Adult Children

Survey Shows Vast Numbers of Christian Men Addicted to Porn and Having Affairs