Jesus Can’t Be Your Boyfriend

By Ruth

"Jesus is your boyfriend now..."

I was watching a funny YouTube video about Stuff Christian singles hear. It's full of phrases that most Christian singles have heard at some point in their lives. Lines about waiting on God, happening when you least expect it, and viewing Jesus as your significant other...

Things people actually say. Things Christian people actually say.

But, I wonder, for all the struggling singles out there- are those phrases really helpful? I mean, is it even possible for Jesus to take the place of your significant other, for Him to be your make-believe boyfriend in times of loneliness and isolation?

For some people, I'm sure there is comfort in that thought. They can look past the simplicity of those phrases and make a place for Jesus in their hearts as their companion, friend, and significant other. But I know when I was a single woman- that was hardly the case.

I used to feel this terrible guilt when I was single. I would hear these phrases about Jesus being my boyfriend, and Jesus filling my heart, and Jesus being all I needed. I felt guilty for longing for a husband. Guilty that Jesus wasn't filling the voids and deficits in my heart. Guilty that Jesus was not "enough" for me, because deep down I longed to be in a relationship, to find true love, and to hurry up and get married!

As much as I was in relationship with Jesus, and as much as I loved Him with all of my heart- there still seemed to be room for someone else. A place in my heart that had not yet been filled. Jesus was my Savior, My Redeemer, and My Love...but I was never really able to make him my boyfriend.

I think as Christians we are WAY too hard on ourselves when it comes to this topic. I think we place expectations on our shoulders that are not only unrealistic...they are un-human. For the single man and woman out there, find encouragement in knowing that even God is on your side with this one! Because the truth of the matter is that God himself saw that it was "not good" for us to be alone. He creatively fashioned for Adam a wife. That ancient design to be connected with another human being is something that was placed in your lineage from the very beginning of time.

It doesn't mean that you are unholy, or that Jesus has not filled your heart the way He should. Rather, it means you are human, created in God's image. A God who loves, who connects, and who longs for relationship.

Jesus can never be your boyfriend/girlfriend, because He was never intended to be. There is a significant part of your heart that was designed specifically for JUST Him- but there is a part of your heart, that was also designed specifically for others.

He was intended to be your Master, Your Savior, and your Healer. He was intended to be your Counselor, Your Peace, and the Love of your life. He longs for you to be in relationship with Him, but He has made you to also be in relationship with others. Because He knows how you function, and He knows what's good for you.

Jesus may never become your significant other, but He can become your significance, your serenity, and your satisfaction. Trust Him for this.

Debra K. Fileta is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in Relationship and Marital issues. She, her husband and two children live in Hershey, PA. She is the author of the new book True Love Dates (Zondervan, 2013), challenging young men and women to do dating in a way that is psychologically sound, emotionally healthy and spiritually grounded. Visit and follow her on Twitter to get your dating questions answered and to learn more.


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