Our husband’s sexual addiction hits us hard and is so painful. We can very easily see the “person” (our spouse) as “the enemy” and the cause of all of our pain, difficulty and heartache. A natural instinct is to against him and start blaming, accusing, criticizing, correcting, fixing, judging and rejecting… you know all those things we do to protect ourselves from more hurt, pain and betrayal.
I'm angry at God because He took my husband from me. He was supposed to be a good Christian, but he ran away with his secretary and said he didn't want anything more to do with me. If God really loved me, He wouldn't have let this happen. — K.S.
Over the past couples of weeks, as I've been reading about how the porn industry is currently on moratorium due to the fact that one of its actors currently tested positive for HIV (our prayers certainly go out to that individual, by the way), I couldn't help but think about something that I have oftentimes said with a lot of humor sprinkled with some seriousness whenever people gasp at the fact that I haven't had sex (including oral sex---sometimes that needs to be specified) in over six-and-a
Operation Heal Our Patriots, a project of Samaritan's Purse, ministers to military couples whose lives have been forever altered by injuries or wounds sustained in combat or combat-related activities since 9/11. Over the past two years, close to 225 couples have participated in wilderness retreats in Alaska where they enjoyed opportunities for marriage enrichment, as well as physical and spiritual refreshment. Dozens have received new life in Christ during their stay.
When I say I have an "open marriage," I'm not talking about infidelity or "swinging" or any of that nonsense. My wife and I are completely faithful to one another. We care about each other and are each other's best friends - sleeping around isn't even close to a temptation.
I’m no advocate of arranged marriages, but one advantage I can see in someone else – parents, larger family or even a traditional matchmaker – making the decision of who will be your lifelong mate is that less heart than head goes into it, and libido stays completely out it. Second to squandering our sexual purity, I think the biggest mistake most Americans make in selecting a mate is failing to use their brains before they unleash their hearts.
I must confess, this is a difficult topic for me. Ask me to write about overcoming porn addiction, finding healing in your marriage, the effects of masturbation, who to talk to when you’re struggling, accountability, and just about anything else and I can write a thousand words of encouragement and experience in an effort to help other women who are hurting from a porn-addicted husband.
In the midst of the frustration, the ugliness and, yes, even hateful feelings toward my porn-addicted spouse, I got sick of myself. I think that’s the first step to changing: being really disappointed with who you have become. The second step is getting a vision of something better.
When my husband first discovered that I was having an affair, he was full of anger and shock. I was shocked too. Looking back, both of us have at times wondered how I, a “good”, Christian woman could have strayed so far from my marriage vows. How had allowed myself to put my marriage, our family, my witness, etc. at such risk; why did I treat the things that mattered most to me with such frivolity?
As men, exhaustion is a dangerous state. I’ve found I most often let my guard down when I’m mentally and physically worn out, which leaves me feeling worn-out emotionally and spiritually as well. And when a man is mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted, bad things can happen.
We are living in a time, a place, and a culture where the family unit is under attack. A hookup culture, where sex is given casually and little regard is given for the fruits of that labor, children are rarely seen as a heritage from the Lord. Rather, children are presented to the world as accidents. Pests. Annoyances. Think about how babies are presented in the modern American media. How often are pregnancies depicted as being the result of a traditional courtship and marriage?
I’ll never forget when the guys from XXXchurch came to my alma mater, Malone University in Canton, Ohio. Their visit to my school in October 2005 forced me to evaluate my own life. I was a student at a Christian college trying to figure out God’s plan for my life, yet a huge wall stood between me and God— a porn problem. I desperately needed to get control of my life, and XXXchurch sparked that change.
C: "I've never been one to really have an opinion about porn, one way or another. But, I figured that since my husband likes it that I would give it a try to see if it would enhance our relationship. It just doesn't appeal to me and a part of me wonders if it's a 'woman thing' that I don't like it. Especially since so many men seem to enjoy engaging in it. My husband and I both feel like our sex life is dwindling and I'm wondering if my not liking porn has something to do with it. What do you th
We all make mistakes. We’re spiritual beings in a human suit, as a Bible teacher told me once. We are subject to the world, which is under the rule of Satan (2 Corinthians 4:4). The goal of the devil is to blind us to the light of Christ, to hold us down and have us crushed. To know that there is a devil who is a god of the world is one of the most important things you can have in your life as a Christian, because it gives even greater glory to the work of the Savior. When you know that shame an
My wife was understanding and reminded me that there will be times that I fall and struggle with this. She showed me more grace then I deserve. If you haven’t told your wife you have cheated then you can’t move forward in your life. You will be stuck like glue at the same spot.Telling your wife is not easy, but it’s the easiest way to go to getting the help you need.
So many women (and men) are probably walking into marriage clueless about their future spouse’s sexual struggles. Sometimes as Christians, we think that we’ll be able to magically leave our struggles with sexual sin at the door as soon as we cross over that marriage threshold, but without being open and setting the proper safeguards and protocols in place, there’s a slim chance that sins won’t impact your future life together.
Are you having troubles in your marriage? Consider this passage about how a husband should love his wife. "Love is kind" (1 Corinthians 13:4). I believe husbands hold the key to a flourishing marriage.
Nowhere does the Bible teach that sex in itself is a sin. Man in his sinful nature has taken what was intended to be a glorious and complete act of love between two people and has made it something low, cheap, and dirty.
Internet pornography and sexual sin has flourished in the Church in recent years, destroying innumerable marriages in the process. In an online poll of 10,000 Christians conducted by Focus on the Family several years ago, 47% stated that pornography had been a problem in their home. No doubt this onslaught of sexual sin has played a part in the fact that the divorce rate within Christian homes is hovering around 50 percent—about the same as the rest of our nation.
It is true that the pain can be overwhelming to the point of seeming intolerable, but my personal testimony is that Jesus can take the very worst things and make them better than if they never happened. As Corrie Ten Boom said, “No pit is so deep that He is not deeper still.”
By contrast, homosexual acts have no relationship to procreation and can't unite persons organically. As a result, these acts can't be marital—which means relationships integrated around them can't be marriages. Same-sex partners are physically incapable of marriage. It takes a man and a woman to become "one flesh."
Meet Ruby and Harold Coleman, a beautiful couple in Rustburg, Virginia, who are still glowing with love for each other after 60 years of marriage. Not only have they stayed together all this time - an increasingly rare feat in today's era of cohabiting and quickie divorces - but Christ has been at the centre of it all.