Nicholas: I Look at Porn When I'm Tired And Stressed

By Ella Chan

When I get off of work, I'm tired. I'm also on a healthy food kick. If you mix these two together, you get fast food. When I'm tired and stressed AND hungry, I look for instant gratification in the form of Wendy's or McDonald's--NOT the healthy food that my body needs. Interestingly similar, when I'm tired and stressed, my willpower and strength tends to be very miniscule. And frankly, I'm more prone to look at porn in this state.

Porn is instant. I usually wake up anywhere between 5:30 a.m. and 9:00 a.m., depending on the day. As a college student, my life is ALWAYS a rush. Busy, busy, busy 24/7/365. When I wake up, I'm in a rush to get ready. I don't have the time to make a pot or even a cup of coffee. So, I usually drink a cup of instant coffee--quick, gets me awake and satisfied. Come lunch, I don't have the time to cook myself a hearty and healthy veggie burger with egg, so I opt for a McDouble. Again--quick, keeps me going, and hunger satisfied (yet, I'm disappointed in myself for settling, which quickly fades away). Guys, I'm fixing to get completely honest with you chaps. I don't have time for a "romantic" relationship (nor do I want to fork up the money right now). So, as in every other aspect in my life, I can easily opt for the instant gratification--all of the illusive benefits without the sacrifice (i.e. money, time, selflessness) of a relationship.

Porn is cheap. Occasionally (a.k.a. almost always) as a college student, your bank account is depressingly low. I could take 10 minutes out of my schedule, go to the grocery store, and buy salad for two bucks, or I could take 3-5 minutes out of my schedule, go to McDonald's, and buy two McDoubles for the same two bucks. Decisions, decisions. Like I mentioned before, I don't reallywant to (possibly) waste money on a girl that I might not spend the rest of my life with. However cheap or shallow that may sound, don't judge me. Societal "manly" reason tells me that if I'm wanting to be cheap on a relationship, why not just surf the free sites on the web? It's 100 percent free--no commitment either--not a dime out of my wallet. What on earth could ever go wrong?

Porn is a counterfeit. I'm not really likely to purchase a McDouble, but I don't want to spend eight bucks on a salad either. Aside from making a point, I usually opt to cook for myself. However, most fast food joints usually offer "healthy" alternatives to their mostly unhealthy menu. We can debate the validity of their claims, but, in general, I think we can agree that a fast food salad isn't as healthy as a homemade salad. They're alternatives to the real thing--a counterfeit. Do you see where I'm going with this? Porn is a counterfeit to real thing--sex, a relationship, a partner. Typically, counterfeit isn't as good as the real thing either. I know my burgers are delicious and healthy. Also, just ask the government, counterfeit their money. It won't get you far either--it's not as good as the real thing.

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