Question from a "19 Kids and Counting" fan on Facebook: How do you handle particularly strong-willed children? Well, I've had a couple of strong-willed ones go through here! I had one that really gave us a lot of challenges. We felt like we were going back and forth saying, "Don't do that," and they would say, "Why?" They would just push it again and again and I'd think, "They're never going to get it. It's just not getting through."
Preparing your children to combat sexual sin should begin very early. It is never too soon to say that marriage is a wonderful blessing from God. When any discussions of sexuality arise, you should point out what is appropriate for marriage and what is not. As your children grow older, your explanations will need to be more specific, until finally you arrive at the franker discussions needed to address the onset of puberty. But in the context of ongoing conversations, you have the privilege of
Do you ever worry?
I think we can all admit that we do. In fact, we probably worry more than we realize. As a mother, I find myself worrying about my children, about their health, their learning, and whether I can just make it to bedtime each day.
Well, sleep might be part of that! Maybe a power nap for 15 minutes or so. Of course, my absolute favorite thing to do when I have some free time is to spend one-on-one time with my hubby or my kids because they're my most favorite people in the world.
I don't know what we did to be such bad parents. Our son (who's 26) is constantly getting into trouble -- writing bad checks, not paying his bills, etc. He always says he'll change if we'll just bail him out one more time, but he never does. Where did we go wrong? — T.F.
We are around a lot of families, and a lot of children with different personalities. My older ones have learned and are able to graciously stand alone around external influences. But those younger ones so often can be sucked into bad behavior, bad words, and bad attitudes. Long before we ever get to that point, we talk about it together. I let the kids know where we're going, what we'll be doing going and that very likely there will be other little ones running around playing.
After I was born again and became a Christian, I really began to cover up. I felt like the Lord was saying to me, you know what, you probably shouldn't be wearing that. It's a little bit low cut, or a little bit too high, you know. I just really felt like I needed to obey what God was saying to me first and understand later.
My daughters are the second generation of modest dressing in this family. They've grown up being dressed modestly, and in clothes that are definitely more feminine apparel. I've told my daughters this has been a joyful journey for me to learn what my Lord has called me to. This is the direction that God has led me as your mother, and you're in the family.
Talk is a given. Everyone talks. It's a basic function of life. In order to teach your kids you must talk to them. But there are all sorts of talk. For example, formal discussion (usually a monolog, in reality) occurs when you sit your children down and explain some matter that you think is really important.
Creating games, dreaming up adventures and spending time outside was an essential part of my childhood, but for today’s kids, it’s as though there are so many fun adventures and prefab, created spaces offered through tech, that going outside to play or using one’s own imagination almost seems like a punishment.
I don’t know about you, but personally, I find it to be pretty fascinating that when Scripture is quoted, people tend to want to debate it (Colossians 2:8). For instance, when the Word says “Flee sexual immorality” (I Corinthians 6:18 NKJV), there tends to be great debates about what actually constitutes sexual immorality. Oh, but when Miley Cyrus is half-naked on an awards show, folks are hitting the roof.
Question from a "19 Kids and Counting" fan on Facebook: How do you monitor how the kids are doing with homeschooling? Do they have tests that they take every year? And how do the kids feel about going “back to school” in the fall?
I was speaking at a church last week and, as often happens when I show the parents a brief glimpse of what awaits their kids online, there were some surprised looks on some faces, others shook their heads in disbelief and other made audible gasps. Now everything I show is censored so I am not showing anything inappropriate. But I show enough for parents to get an idea of what is really out there and how their kids can easily find it without much effort.
Let me tell you why porn makes me angry. Pornographers on the Internet put a lot of effort into making sure kids stumble into porn. It’s not right. As parents, we can go through the efforts of raising our kids with the understanding of what is appropriate to view online. With can give them the wisdom and guidance to help them stay away from inappropriate content.
If you are over thirty you probably are familiar with the term "latchkey kid." A latchkey kid, for those of you who aren't, is "a child who returns from school to an empty home because his or her parent or parents are away at work, or a child who is often left at home with little or no parental supervision." (Wikipedia)
As parents, it can be easy to fall into the trap of advising our children to “do as I say, not as I do”. I find that the parents of many of the teens I work with are telling their kids to stay “pure” sexually without modeling a pure sexual ethic to their children. We live in a world where divorces, swinging and affairs are becoming the norm, and our kids feel as if their parents are in some ways following society’s trends.
More and more adults are using the Internet to find love and community, and it should be no surprise that teens are also looking for romance, attention and love online. While online dating poses a variety of risks for adults, it can also have a clear upside—streamlining the dating process in our over busy and ever-connected world. For teenagers, however, online dating sites can pose a unique set of risks, and I would strongly recommend blocking your child from accessing dating sites.
While we often recognize the nobility of those who serve our nation in military uniform, we also must recognize the reality of significant challenges among our nation's warriors and their families. In this case, the nobility of productive parenting has often been supplanted by the reality, the tragedy, of child abuse in the military.
When I begin to dig and highlight the very real dangers that kids face these days online, it becomes more and more apparent that these parents have done little to protect their kids online and the conversations that they’ve had have been few and far between.
In the months leading up to my daughter's birth, I contemplated what it would be like to raise a child. I thought, if I can barely remember to put deodorant on in the mornings, how could I possibly steward another life? More importantly, how will I lead her to cherish Jesus? What if she one day rejects the gospel?
Dear Daddy, I now know what you were doing. I didn't at first, though. I didn't know why you went to the bathroom so often when you were home, especially when Momma had to go to the store or visit a friend and it was just you and me. You'd take your smartphone in there with you and I wouldn't see you for a long time.
While video games can be a great source of entertainment and can help strengthen computer literacy, it’s critical for parents to understand the real dangers associated with the online gaming world and be informed about how to best protect their kids. Far too often, parents assume that their children are safe when they are parked in front of a gaming device – it’s a game after all, right?
The weather is getting cooler, the school year is starting, and moms around the country are getting ready to send their little ones to preschool for the first time. Except me. Adi isn't going to preschool this year. She's not going next year either. We'll be skipping kindergarten too for that matter. First grade too. If things go as planned the first time I take Adi to school will be when I drop her off at college.
Talking about sex, in general terms, and even talking about being “safe” and avoiding “bad” sites online seemed easy compared to this talk, but I knew I needed to have it. My wife and I had tried to be honest, keep the conversation going with our kids, especially our oldest son, Jake. He was fourteen now, and I knew he was struggling, especially with masturbation.
I had noticed a change in my nine-year-old daughter over the past several months. She seemed upset a lot and moody, but, at first, I credited it to an early-entry into the tween years. When her mood didn’t change, I started prodding a bit, but she continued to shut me down. She didn’t want to spend time as a family, and she stopped playing with her little sister and brother. She also started complaining about the soccer team she was a part of that summer.
We love our son and daughter-in-law, but they let our grandchildren (ages 6 and 8t) watch virtually anything on television, even if it's full of violence or sex or bad language. Should we say anything? Or are we just being old-fashioned? — H.G.