Testimony: My Self-Worth Is Totally Separating from My Husband's Addiction
By Jocelyn Hu
It has taken some some time to really understand this but my sense of self-worth is not defined by my husband's porn addiction. Although I share in the pain that this addiction often leaves a family, my self- worth has not decreased. I know exactly what I'm worth because my Father tells me. Proverbs 31:10-12 specifically tells me my worth.
An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
He heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
I'm a jewel and my husband knows it. He knows that I am more precious than jewels and that he can safely share his heart with me. Although I do not like that he has a porn addiction, my intentions and actions are only to add to his life and not take away. The addiction itself has already taken enough.
As I mature in age and more importantly in Christ, my role as his wife becomes clearer. "An excellent wife who can find?" by no means am I excellent but with God's assistance, I'm exactly what my husband needs me to be for him. He needs me to encourage and build him up. He needs me to be honest and blunt on occasion. He needs me to be there when he stumbles to balance him out. He needs me when he falls to pick him back up. Most of all, he needs me not to judge him.
I was not there when porn was introduced to my husband. However, I am there now to walk with him away from it. It's been a long and emotional road but the power of two is much better than one when you are fighting something demonic. I've got his back always. Even when he doesn't want the support, I provide it. God and his angels are in the midst fighting on our behalf.
As my spiritual muscles grow, my self-worth is totally separate from my husband's porn addiction. Porn is not greater than the God that I serve and I know my value to Him and my husband. Porn loses every time.
1 John 4:4: "Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world."