Harmony Dust: Who Will You be When You Take Off Your Costume?
When I was 20 years old, I showed up to a club on Sunset Blvd. in stilettos and a cheetah print, G-string leotard and called it a Halloween costume.
Tonight at the Oasis Costume Carnival, I will be dressed as the Queen of Hearts. If I can get her to cooperate, my daughter will be Alice in Wonderland:)
Although my costume choices have changed over the years, I have always liked dressing up.
When I was in the sex industry, I dressed up all the time. Like many women, I created another character-Monique. I hid behind her. It was easier to be Monique when I was at the strip club. She did things Harmony would never do.
The problem was, when I wiped off my make-up at the end of the night and tried to shower off the smell of cigarettes and body spray, I couldn't quite get Monique off of me.
The longer I was in the sex industry, the more the line between who she was and who I am began to blur. I lost myself in her.
When I first started going to church, I had to stop myself from introducing myself as Monique. By the time I quit stripping, I barely knew how to respond when someone called me by my real name.
Hearing "Harmony" set a wave of vulnerability through me. My ears were raw and tender to the sound of that name-as though the one speaking it knew too much about me. Yes, Monique was my hiding place.
Monique is gone. I don't need her anymore. My life no longer requires me to create aliases and compartmentalize experiences. I have been on a journey of discovering my true identity-becoming the woman I was created to be-and I quite like it.
So tonight, when I take off my hoop-skirt gown and wipe off my heart-shaped lips, I will still be Harmony. Knowing this brings me peace and makes dressing up all the more fun.
How about you? Who will you be when you take your costume off?
© 2013 I Am Treasure Ministry