Healthy Childhood Sexual Development. Let's Learn It.

By Grace On Jun 13, 2013

Each section follows a format designed to equip you, the parent. And as you might expect, each unit builds upon the previous one. I've also designed this curriculum in a way that helps integrate or harmonize the body, mind, and spirit of your child by applying my Iceberg approach to childhood sexual development. If you're not familiar with the Iceberg, why not review it along with this curriculum.

Of course, your older children may be in the latter stages, so you'll not only want to follow what's recommended for that particular age group, but review each of the earlier stages and unpack them according to your child's particular needs. Sensitivity for not only your child's age, but also his personality, and life experience is critically important. No two children are the same, so tailor the units to your family's precise needs.

Finally, I've chosen to emphasize child sexual development within the larger context of spirituality. More than just coaching you on "the talk" about the birds and the bees, I want to equip you to enter a lifelong mentoring relationship with your child.

Here's our overall mission: to prepare your child's body, mind, and spirit so that he or she developmentally embraces God's gift of sexuality with greater understanding and integrity. With this rewarding and challenging mission in mind, let's get started.

This curriculum is written for Christian parents who wish to integrate their faith with practical lessons for their children. To that end, I'd like to help you to think about sexual development not just in terms of what is healthy or unhealthy, but in terms of what pleases God. We want our children to go beyond sexually moral behavior and be whole in body, mind, and spirit. This sense of wholeness is summed up in the word integrity.

How shall we define sexual health and development?

Let's think about how we can define sexual integrity. For example, how did your family of origin define sexual integrity? Were the standards the same for males and females, or was there a "boys will be boys" or "good girls don't" mentality? What about your culture and its definition of sexual integrity? Did you grow up in the United States during the sexual revolution of the sixties or in China during the Cultural Revolution? Each society and era attempts to redefine what is appropriate and inappropriate - often without any concern for God or the Bible.

We also need to think about how we define sexual integrity as individuals. For example, your total experience as a male or female, where you lived, what you were taught, your sexual history, and a variety of other variables have shaped your personal definition of sexual integrity. None of us embrace everything we were taught either. Often it's what was caught that has shaped our thinking the most.

The single most important question for us to ask is, "How does God define sexual integrity?" As Christians, we affirm that He created us and knows how we function best. He has fashioned us to acquire numerous age-appropriate tasks throughout life, and, likewise, He also designed our sexual development to occur sequentially in an integrated physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual manner.

As a father of two young children and as a therapist specializing in sexual health, I believe that our strategy toward our kids' sexual development needs to be comprehensive. With this goal in mind, here's a list of questions to help you process your thoughts and questions about sexuality, including choices and circumstances:

  • Is it biblical?
  • Is it Christ-affirming?
  • Is it timeless?
  • Is it separate from the "world"?
  • Is it equally sensitive to both males and females?
  • Is it service oriented?
  • Is it grounded in authentic intimacy?
  • Is it purposeful?
  • Is it connected to one's faith and spirituality?
  • Is it inspired by direction?
  • Is it visionary for future generations?
  • Finally, and most importantly, does the sexual choice or behavior reflect the spousal analogy found throughout Scripture, which teaches Jesus is the bridegroom of the Church?


Read Fully To Learn More About "Healthy Childhood Sexual Development And Biblical Principles" At Focus On The Family. 

Healthy Childhood Sexual Development, Biblical Counseling, parenting